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Helping Girls Build Self-Worth in a Social Media World – Jennifer Oaten

teen girl on her phone watching social media

Recently, I talked with a Year 9 student who confided that despite hundreds of online followers, she sometimes felt isolated. Her honesty reinforced the importance of helping our girls build a deep sense of self-worth that does not rely on social media validation.

Why Social Media Makes Building Self-Worth Harder

Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat offer connection and creativity but can also amplify insecurities. The carefully curated, edited, and filtered images often set unrealistic standards. When girls measure their worth against these images, their confidence and wellbeing can suffer.

What Does Australian Research Tell Us?

Australian research highlights some concerning trends:

  • Over 90% of young Australians report body image concerns, intensified by social media (Butterfly Foundation, 2023).
  • A University of the Sunshine Coast study found that 98% of girls aged 14–19 had experienced cyberbullying, with 62% of that abuse specifically targeting their appearance. As a result, 96% wanted to change how they look, often through excessive dieting or over-exercising, and 81% even considered cosmetic procedures to ‘fix’ perceived flaws.
  • Meanwhile, a recent Growth Distillery study found that two in three Australians, particularly young people, turn to social media for mental health advice instead of professional help.

These statistics are deeply concerning. They reveal a generation of girls who are not only being criticised for their appearance but are starting to believe that changing how they look is the only way to be accepted.

We must help our girls understand they are enough; exactly as they are.

Mental Helth Strategy

How Santa Maria Builds Self-Worth from Within

We are committed to nurturing girls who understand their true worth. But this is not something we can do alone.

When schools and families work together, we create a powerful support network that empowers our girls to grow in confidence and self-belief.

Our Mental Health Strategy, supported by the Mercy Wellbeing Learning Continuum, provides a framework for teachers to explicitly teach skills in emotional resilience, self-awareness, and critical thinking about the media students consume.

Through this approach, students learn to understand the influence of advertising, social media, and artificial intelligence-generated content, equipping them to navigate the online world with clarity and confidence.

Our girls learn:

  • Social media often shows only highlights, not reality.
  • Editing, filters, and algorithms shape online content.
  • Real self-worth is not defined by appearance, likes, or followers.
A girl’s worth is not measured by likes, filters or followers—but by who she is when no one is watching." – Jennifer Oaten

7 Ways Parents Can Support Their Daughter’s Self-Worth

Building self-worth starts at home. As parents, your influence is powerful and lasting. Here are seven simple, practical ways you can support your daughter every day:

  1. Be the Change You Want to See
    Model balanced social media use and positive self-talk.
  2. Real vs Fake
    Regularly discuss editing and filters, highlighting the difference between online images and reality.
  3. Curate Her Feed Together
    Help your daughter follow positive, empowering accounts and unfollow those that make her feel inadequate. This is especially important when she’s new to social media, as it shapes the tone of her digital world.
  4. Celebrate Who She Is – Offline
    Support her interests, hobbies, and friendships that build her identity beyond social media. Whether it’s sport, music, reading, or volunteering, help her see the value in who she is, not just how she appears.
  5. Focus on Effort, Not Appearance
    Praise your daughter’s kindness, persistence, and creativity rather than her looks and encourage family to do the same.
  6. Make Digital Breaks Fun
    Schedule device-free family time to encourage real-life connections.
  7. Keep Communication Open
    Listen without judgment, reassure your daughter, and encourage her to talk openly about her online experiences.

Where Can Parents Get More Help?

For additional support, consider these trusted resources:

 We are always here to support you. If you have concerns, please reach out, we are here to help.

Raising Girls To Know Their Worth

Social media is not going away. But with strong guidance, open conversations, and consistent support, we can help our girls develop a deep sense of self-worth that is not just shaped by filters or followers.

Let us remind them – often and wholeheartedly – that they are enough, exactly as they are.

Together, as parents and educators, we can raise young women who know their value, live with confidence, and shine brightly both online and offline.

  • Body Image, Cyberbullying, Digital Wellbeing, Featured, Girls Mental Health, Jennifer Oaten, Parenting Support, Santa Maria College, Self Worth, social media

Author: Santa Maria College
Santa Maria College is a vibrant girls school with a growing local presence and reputation.  Our Mission is to educate young Mercy women who act with courage and compassion to enrich our world.  Santa Maria College is located in Attadale in Western Australia, 16 km from the Perth CBD.  We offer a Catholic education for girls in Years 5 – 12 and have 1300 students, including 152 boarders.

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