Engaging Conversations – Jennifer Oaten
As parents, we all want to support our daughters in their learning, growth, and overall wellbeing. I understand this journey firsthand. As a mother of two university-aged children, I have experienced the challenges and joys of guiding children through their schooling years. I recall the importance of meaningful conversations with my own children, helping them navigate friendships, academic pressures, and future aspirations. However, it can be challenging to know the right questions to ask to truly understand their experiences at school. Instead of the usual “How was your day?”, which often results in “good”, consider using open-ended questions that invite deeper conversations.
At Santa Maria College, we encourage parents to partner with our staff to ensure your daughter thrives. Below are some questions you might like to ask of your daughter at times throughout the year.
Talking About Learning
A great way to foster a love for learning is to show curiosity about what your daughter is studying.
- What was the most interesting thing you learned today?
- Was there anything in class that didn’t quite make sense? How can I help?
- If you had to teach someone what you learned today, how would you explain it?
- Who is a teacher you really respect or enjoy learning from? What makes them great?
- If you could change one thing about your day today, what would it be?
Encouraging Reflection on Challenges
Navigating challenges is part of personal growth. By asking the right questions, you can help your daughter build resilience and confidence.
- What’s one challenge you faced at school this week, and how did you handle it?
- Is there a subject or topic you are struggling with? How can we work through it together?
- What’s something you are proud of accomplishing at school recently?
- What’s one goal you want to achieve by the end of this term? How can I support you?
- What is something you want to improve at, and what is your plan to get better?
Understanding Friendships
Friendships play a crucial role in a young person’s school experience. Engaging in conversations about social interactions can provide insight into your daughter’s relationships and wellbeing.
- Who did you spend time with at school today? What did you chat about?
- Are there any group activities you are involved in? How are they going?
- Do you feel supported and respected by your friends at school?
- Have you noticed anyone at school who might be struggling or feeling left out? How do you think they feel?
- What kind of friend do you try to be at school?
Checking in on Wellbeing
We prioritise student wellbeing through initiatives like MyMindCheck, our Friendships Program, and Pastoral Care Time (PCT), which equip students with strategies to manage stress and maintain balance.
- How are you feeling about your workload at the moment
- On a scale of 1-10, how stressed are you about school right now? What is contributing to that?
- How will you relax and recharge after a long school day?
- How are you sleeping lately? Do you feel rested in the mornings?
- If something at school is bothering you, do you feel comfortable talking to a teacher or counsellor about it?
What is one thing we can do as a family to help you feel more supported at school?
Exploring Future Aspirations
Encouraging your daughter to think about her future helps her develop ambition and purpose.
- What is something you are excited about learning in the future?
- If you could design your dream class, what would it be about?
- What is one skill you’d like to learn outside of school?
- Have you thought about what you’d like to do after high school? What interests you?
- If you could shadow someone in a job for a day, what would it be?
- What kind of impact do you want to make in the world?
Making Conversations Engaging
Sometimes, lighthearted questions can lead to the most insightful discussions.
- If your school day was turned into a movie, what would the title be?
- If you could switch places with one teacher for a day, who would it be and why?
- If you could take a school trip anywhere in the world, where would you go, and what would you learn?
- If you could create a new rule for your school, what would it be?
Final Thoughts for Parents
Conversations should not feel like an interview. Instead, they should be natural and inviting. At Santa Maria College, we encourage conversations through peer mentoring, student-led wellbeing initiatives, and staff training in cognitive behavioural techniques like GIVE and DEERS. These efforts foster a culture where students feel heard and valued.
Active listening is equally important as asking questions. It fosters trust and encourages your daughter to share openly. Even if she doesn’t always feel like talking, demonstrating genuine interest in her life and being available when she is ready to share will strengthen your relationship and reinforce her sense of being valued and supported.
Try one of these questions tonight at dinner and see where the conversation leads!
- communication, familyconversations, Featured, FutureAspirations, GrowthMindset, mentalhealth, Parenting, studentwellbeing
Author: Santa Maria College
Santa Maria College is a vibrant girls school with a growing local presence and reputation. Our Mission is to educate young Mercy women who act with courage and compassion to enrich our world. Santa Maria College is located in Attadale in Western Australia, 16 km from the Perth CBD. We offer a Catholic education for girls in Years 5 – 12 and have 1300 students, including 152 boarders.
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