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Why Routines Matter More Than You Think – Jennifer Oaten

GIrls doing exercise at 6.05 in the morning. showing that it is a routine.

In the busyness of family life, calm can feel like a distant goal. Between school, work, sport, homework, meals, and the ever-present pull of technology, many families are simply getting through the day. As a mother who works full time and balances this with family life, I understand the challenges!

But one of the most powerful and often overlooked ways to create a sense of calm is to build and maintain routines.

Routines offer children something that is deeply comforting – predictability. When a child knows what is coming next, it reduces anxiety, builds confidence, and helps them develop a sense of control over their world.

Why routines matter

Routines are more than just habits. They help regulate emotions, support healthy sleep patterns, improve focus, and encourage independence.

In fact, research shows that children with regular routines tend to have better academic outcomes, stronger social skills, and lower stress levels.

For teenagers in particular – whose lives can feel like an emotional rollercoaster – routines provide a sense of grounding. They become anchors in a time of great change and uncertainty.

Practical routines that make a difference

It does not need to be complicated. In fact, the simpler and more consistent, the better.

Here are some practical routines that make a real difference:

  • Morning routines
    A consistent wake-up time, a healthy breakfast, and a few minutes to mentally prepare for the day can set the tone.
  • After-school check-in
    A time to reconnect, share the day, and create space for questions or concerns.
  • Homework hour
    Having a regular time and quiet space helps children stay focused and reduces procrastination.
  • Wind-down routine
    A predictable bedtime routine helps the body and mind switch off. This should include screens off an hour before bed, a shower, reading, or simply quiet time. Setting bedtimes also helps.
  • Weekend rhythms
    Whether it is a Saturday morning walk, Sunday Mass or dinner, or family game night, small traditions help strengthen connection.
Teenage Girls doing her homework at a desk.

How to make routines stick

Inspired by Atomic Habits by James Clear

Even with the best intentions, many families find that new routines start strong but fade quickly. This is something author James Clear explores in his book Atomic Habits, which focuses on how small, consistent actions can lead to remarkable change.

Clear outlines four simple principles for building habits that last:

  • Make it obvious
    Set up your environment to prompt the behaviour. For example, if you want to encourage quiet reading, keep books visible and within easy reach.
  • Make it attractive
    Pair the routine with something enjoyable. You might play soft music during dinner preparation or light a candle to create a calming bedtime atmosphere.
  • Make it easy
    Start small. Rather than aiming for an hour of focused homework, begin with ten minutes of uninterrupted effort.
  • Make it satisfying
    Celebrate consistency. A simple “Well done!” or a special Friday night treat can help routines feel rewarding.

These small changes, done consistently, become part of the rhythm of family life – and over time, they create calm, connection, and a stronger sense of togetherness.

It is not about perfection

Of course, life is messy, and no routine will run smoothly all the time. That is okay. What matters is the intention behind the routine – to create structure, connection, and calm.

If routines start to feel rigid or spark tension, it may be time to adapt. The best routines evolve with your family’s needs, stage of life, and the personalities of your children.

The school–family partnership

At Santa Maria, we know that learning does not stop when students leave the classroom. That is why we encourage families to reflect on the routines that support their daughter’s wellbeing and learning at home.

We often hear students say they feel calmer, more focused, and better able to manage stress when they have a sense of structure and balance. As educators, we see the difference routines make – in both academic success and emotional resilience.

In closing

In a world that often feels chaotic, routines are a quiet form of care. They remind our children that they are safe, supported, and seen.

James Clear reminds us that lasting habits are about identity. By saying, “We are a family that values calm, connection and balance,” each small routine becomes more than a task; it becomes part of who we are.

We do not need to do it perfectly. But with a little intention and consistency, we can create a sense of calm that supports not just our children, but ourselves.

  • Calm Parenting, Emotional Resilience, Family Routines, Featured, Parenting Tips, School-Family Partnerships, Student Wellbeing, Teen Mental Health

Author: Santa Maria College
Santa Maria College is a vibrant girls school with a growing local presence and reputation.  Our Mission is to educate young Mercy women who act with courage and compassion to enrich our world.  Santa Maria College is located in Attadale in Western Australia, 16 km from the Perth CBD.  We offer a Catholic education for girls in Years 5 – 12 and have 1300 students, including 152 boarders.

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