Why a Sense of Belonging at School Matters – Jennifer Oaten
I have been thinking about Catherine McAuley this week. Not for the first time, and certainly not the last. But something about Harmony Week, and its theme of Everyone Belongs, brought her back to mind. Catherine built a house in the wealthiest part of Dublin and opened it to those the world had left behind. She did not simply preach belonging. She practised it, in bricks and mortar and open doors.
Compassion and care for others were at the heart of everything she did. She wanted young women to feel valued and to belong to a community.
"She did not simply preach belonging. She practised it."
Two Different Things
Harmony Week focuses on inclusiveness, respect and belonging for all Australians, from the Traditional Owners of the land to our most recent arrivals. It also recognises that no matter where you come from, we are united by the Australian values of freedom, respect, fairness, democracy and equal opportunity.Â
True wellbeing comes from a genuine sense of belonging: the feeling of being known, valued, and connected. For children, this shapes confidence and identity, but it is just as vital for adults. As adults, we need spaces where we are not simply welcomed, but where we feel we matter, where our presence makes a difference.
Through the different stages of life, changing family and work roles, experiences of loss and the later years of life can quietly erode connection, making belonging even more important. When families and schools intentionally foster this deeper sense of belonging, we strengthen not only our children but the entire community across every stage of life.
Inclusion and Belonging Are Not the Same
We talk a great deal about inclusion in schools. Programs, policies, and structures that ensure every student has a place. That work matters, and we take it seriously at Santa Maria. But inclusion and belonging are not the same thing, and I think it is worth understanding why.
"Belonging is not about the structures around her. It is about whether she feels known."
A student can tick every box of inclusion and still feel like she is on the outside looking in. Belonging is not about the structures around her. It is about whether she feels known. Whether someone notices when she is quiet. Whether there is a place where she does not have to work so hard to fit in.
Where Belonging Actually Happens
That is much harder to build than a program. It lives in the ordinary moments of a school day, at lunch, between classes, in the small, unremarkable exchanges that nobody is watching or recording. It might be a question someone thought to ask. A seat moved to make room. A name remembered.
It also lives in the rhythms and structures that give school life its shape. A Homeroom group that genuinely knows each other. A House community that builds loyalty and identity across year levels and cheers each other on. A co-curricular activity, whether that is a sport, an ensemble, a club, or a service group, where a girl finds her people, sometimes for the first time and has the confidence to have a go. I hear this from families on tours regularly. It is often not the classroom where a girl first feels she belongs at Santa Maria. It is the volleyball court, the choir rehearsal, the Young Mercies cook-up, the robotics club. Those connections matter enormously, and they carry over into everything else.
Our students come with very different personalities. Some extroverts move naturally towards others and find connection comes easily. For introverts, or those who simply take longer to feel comfortable, the path to belonging can feel much steeper. Both are completely normal, and both matter equally to us.
A Mercy Understanding of Belonging
Catherine McAuley understood this. In our Mercy tradition, Hospitality has never been about surface warmth or good manners. It is about seeing the person in front of you, really seeing them, and responding to what you find. That is the standard our Mercy values ask of us. It is not always easy to live up to.
Our Mercy Wellbeing Learning Continuum places connectedness to others at the centre of how our students grow throughout their years at Santa Maria. It is not an add-on. It runs through all of it.
Our Mental Health Ambassadors are currently working on a student-led initiative in this space. I look forward to sharing more about that in the coming weeks.
What Parents Can Watch For
For parents, I want to offer something practical here.
The questions we ask our daughters after school tend to be about events. What happened. How the test went. What is due tomorrow? Those questions matter. But alongside them, it is worth trying some that go a little deeper.
Did you sit with anyone today you do not usually sit with? Was there a moment today where someone made you feel good about yourself? Did you do something for someone else, even something small? Is there anyone at school you would like to get to know better? What do you value in a friend?
These do not need to be big conversations. But they open a different kind of door, one that is less about performance and more about connection. And the answers, or sometimes the silences, can tell you a great deal about how your daughter is travelling.
Why Belonging Matters for Learning and Wellbeing
Belonging is not about popularity or a wide social circle. Some of the most settled, confident girls I have known have had just one or two close friendships. It is about the quality of feeling accepted for who you actually are.
A girl who feels she belongs at school is more willing to put her hand up, to attempt something difficult, to ask for help when she needs it. Belonging, academic success, and wellbeing are deeply connected. That much I am certain of.
Keeping the Door Open
Catherine McAuley did not wait until the conditions were perfect. She opened her door and kept it open. I think that is what we are asking of each other here, too, in our own way and in our own small moments.
As Harmony Week unfolds, the conversation I hope families have this week is not just about whether your daughter feels she belongs, but about what she might do to help someone else feel that way too. That shift, from looking inward to looking outward, is often where it starts.
- Catholic Girls School, Featured, Girls' Education Perth, Harmony Week, Mercy Values, parent guidance, Santa Maria College, school connection, sense of belonging at school, student belonging, Student Wellbeing, wellbeing and connection
Author: Santa Maria College
Santa Maria College is a vibrant girls school with a growing local presence and reputation. Our Mission is to educate young Mercy women who act with courage and compassion to enrich our world. Santa Maria College is located in Attadale in Western Australia, 16 km from the Perth CBD. We offer a Catholic education for girls in Years 5 – 12 and have 1300 students, including 152 boarders.
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