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Transitioning To A New School – Jennifer Oaten

First Day at School

Beginning at a new school is exciting but can also be daunting. As a parent, I remember when my children transitioned to high school – the nerves, the excitement, and the questions about whether they would find their place. How we, as parents, respond to these challenges can significantly influence how a student settles into high school.

By helping students build connections and supporting them in their journey. Our Orientation and Transition programs prioritise relationship-building and a sense of belonging, ensuring students feel comfortable in their new environment.

Helping Your Child Build Friendships

Meeting new people can cause young people to feel anxious, but talking about what to say beforehand can help ease anxiety. Encouraging your daughter to be brave and initiate conversations can make a difference. Here are some helpful strategies:

  • Discuss conversation starters, such as, “What primary school did you come from?”  “Do you like Sport or Music?” or “What did you do on your holidays?”
  • Encourage one-on-one interactions rather than approaching large groups.
  • Talk about the importance of active listening, friendliness, and positive body language.
  • Support her in exploring new activities through our co-curricular programs where she can meet like-minded peers.
  • Reinforce that developing friendships takes time and that maintaining connections with old friends can provide additional social support during this transition.
  • Encourage a Growth Mindset. Remind her that friendships take time to form. If she has setbacks, encourage resilience and reassure her that making friends is a gradual process.
  • Monitor and Support Without Overstepping. Stay involved but avoid micromanaging. Give her space to navigate social situations while being there to listen and advise when needed.
  • Talk about Resilience. If she feels left out or struggles to make friends, validate her feelings but help her move forward positively rather than dwelling on setbacks.

Taking part in co-curricular activities such as Sport, Music, Drama, Art, or academic clubs provides an excellent opportunity to form friendships. Shared interests often lay the foundation for strong relationships. Many students find their first connections through these activities, which can lead to lifelong friendships.

First Day at a new school

When They Say, “I Have No Friends”

It can be heartbreaking when your child comes home feeling isolated. The best thing you can do is listen, reassure them, and remind them that these feelings are normal. Some ways to support them include:

  • Validate their feelings: “I can see you are upset, and that is okay. Making new friends takes time.”
  • Share personal experiences: Recount times when you felt left out and how you overcame it.
  • Encourage small steps: Help them identify friendly classmates and practice simple ways to connect.
  • Use role-playing: Practice scenarios like inviting someone to sit with them at lunch or joining a group activity.

Supporting Their Emotional Growth

Starting at a new school is a time of big changes, so it is important to remind your child that it is okay to take things one step at a time and that finding their place does not happen overnight. Our buddy programs and pastoral care initiatives are designed to support students during this adjustment. Encourage them to utilise these resources or reach out to staff if they feel unsure.

Sleep is also a significant factor in building friendships at school. Tiredness leads to heightened emotions and makes small challenges seem far worse than they really are. Sleep is one-factor parents have much control over, ensuring students are ready to connect with others in a positive way.

Motivational

Be Patient and Celebrate Small Wins

Every child’s journey is different. Some will click with new friends right away, while others may take a little longer. Celebrate the small wins, like saying hello to someone new or joining an activity.

Finding a sense of belonging is a process, and with your support and a nurturing school environment, your daughter will settle in and thrive. If you need further support or advice, please do not hesitate to reach out to your Dean of Year.

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